Sitting on my dresser is a blank handmade card that I bought in the midst of pain-filled months. It reads:
“The most important thing is this: that at any time we are willing to give up who we are for who we could become.”- Charles Dubois
The events that led to my relocation from the States were confusing, painful and scary. In the span of a month, my job and relationships turned sour and I retreated into a shell. For the next 6 months, I just existed. Little interest in anything around me. Numb days gave way to numb nights. Sleep and books were my only respite. I was stuck in a ditch and I didn’t know what to do. But even worse, I didn’t want to do anything. My spirit just didn’t care anymore.
It was not a life threatening crises, not a relational crises, not a financial crises, but a deep, heart wrenching, identity crises. The fleeting nature of life shocked me and disillusion, touched on in this post, followed.
I wondered, what will I make of my life? Will I just die like that when my turn comes? Another face, another name bites the dust? Who do I want to be? Then I saw this card and asked myself: Am I willing to give up who I am to become that person I want to be? A simple barter exchange. Lose the old, get the new.
Another of my card reads:
“Progress always involves risk: you can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first.”—Frederick Wilcox
Yes, those months were difficult, but in hindsight, they were life-saving. Because I was forced to face the future and think about my life rather than just let it happen. If you are going through heartbreak, deep loss, confusion, disease, or emptiness right now—grieve, cry, pray or retreat, but don't miss the ray of hope that will come, because with it a new chapter of your life will follow.