Thursday, February 25, 2010

Marriage Talks


I’ve been thinking about marriage these days, and I’ve observed that my attitude towards it has slowly evolved through the years. As a bullied teenager, I often dreamed of my future husband and imagined the conversations we would have and the way he would make me feel. Marriage was still at least 10 years away, but I was sure that it would wipe away the pain and loneliness that haunted me back then.

In my late teens to early twenties, those daydreams fell to the background as I threw myself into the depths of books, American college life and…online shopping (well, more like browsing – I was a college student !). I wasn’t looking for Mr. Right; even though I wouldn’t have minded being found by him. But I was conveniently preoccupied with exploring and spreading my newly-acquired adult wings.

Friends and classmates got engaged and I didn’t feel any stirrings. Once, my best friend called from Lagos to encourage me to take a closer look at the men around me. “ Isn’t there anyone you are interested in?” he asked?

He had never heard any boyfriend tales from me and had specifically called to discuss my love life.

In return I told him that I wanted to focus on the season of life that I was in and assured him that God would send the right man at the right time But the concern in his voice stayed with me. “Did he have a point?” I later wondered.

Truth was, I liked my single life the way it was. No drama, no pain, no heartbreak. I was the feature attraction and I knew how to handle me. After all I had been living with myself for 21 years. Ten years before, I couldn’t wait to be married, and now that it was finally within reach, love, relationships and marriage had become an abstract concept.

To be continued…

12 comments:

  1. waiting to read part 2 before i comment

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  2. lol...sounds like a fear of loss of control...you like the predictability of ur single life. that's why marriage is called taking the plunge! u feel the fear and do it anyway...assuming ur sweetie is ready too abi? lol dont worry too much.

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  3. I know that feeling but you have to stick with the bible ways, 2 shall become one, can't be alone forever...hang in there, it shall be well.

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  4. ok lady! wetin happen? did you fall in love or better yet "get found" by this man? We dey wait part 2!

    Funny, because I just wrote a marriage-talk entry on my blog. Check it!

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  5. This sounds so sad ..abeg brighten it up :)
    lol

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  6. U know what, I'm somewhat the same, only difference is I never thought of marriage, I still don't really until my boyfriend starts talking about it, dropping hints here & there and talking about "our" kids and all. Nothing wrong with single life, its very eye opening....

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  7. Someone said, "there is no hurry in the race of life, there are only appointed times"

    God is cooking something, wait for it with a patient spoon :)

    - LDP

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  8. looking forward to part 2. Hoping all is well

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  9. I'll go sit over with Luscious Ron and wait for part 2 :)

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  10. Marriage on my mind, where is part 2?

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  11. You need to put off the abstract concept of love, relationships and marriage. Make it real. Part 2 pls ????

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