Marriage Talks
I’ve been thinking about marriage these days, and I’ve observed that my attitude towards it has slowly evolved through the years. As a bullied teenager, I often dreamed of my future husband and imagined the conversations we would have and the way he would make me feel. Marriage was still at least 10 years away, but I was sure that it would wipe away the pain and loneliness that haunted me back then.
In my late teens to early twenties, those daydreams fell to the background as I threw myself into the depths of books, American college life and…online shopping (well, more like browsing – I was a college student !). I wasn’t looking for Mr. Right; even though I wouldn’t have minded being found by him. But I was conveniently preoccupied with exploring and spreading my newly-acquired adult wings.
Friends and classmates got engaged and I didn’t feel any stirrings. Once, my best friend called from Lagos to encourage me to take a closer look at the men around me. “ Isn’t there anyone you are interested in?” he asked?
He had never heard any boyfriend tales from me and had specifically called to discuss my love life.
In return I told him that I wanted to focus on the season of life that I was in and assured him that God would send the right man at the right time But the concern in his voice stayed with me. “Did he have a point?” I later wondered.
Truth was, I liked my single life the way it was. No drama, no pain, no heartbreak. I was the feature attraction and I knew how to handle me. After all I had been living with myself for 21 years. Ten years before, I couldn’t wait to be married, and now that it was finally within reach, love, relationships and marriage had become an abstract concept.
To be continued…
In my late teens to early twenties, those daydreams fell to the background as I threw myself into the depths of books, American college life and…online shopping (well, more like browsing – I was a college student !). I wasn’t looking for Mr. Right; even though I wouldn’t have minded being found by him. But I was conveniently preoccupied with exploring and spreading my newly-acquired adult wings.
Friends and classmates got engaged and I didn’t feel any stirrings. Once, my best friend called from Lagos to encourage me to take a closer look at the men around me. “ Isn’t there anyone you are interested in?” he asked?
He had never heard any boyfriend tales from me and had specifically called to discuss my love life.
In return I told him that I wanted to focus on the season of life that I was in and assured him that God would send the right man at the right time But the concern in his voice stayed with me. “Did he have a point?” I later wondered.
Truth was, I liked my single life the way it was. No drama, no pain, no heartbreak. I was the feature attraction and I knew how to handle me. After all I had been living with myself for 21 years. Ten years before, I couldn’t wait to be married, and now that it was finally within reach, love, relationships and marriage had become an abstract concept.
To be continued…
waiting to read part 2 before i comment
ReplyDeletelol...sounds like a fear of loss of control...you like the predictability of ur single life. that's why marriage is called taking the plunge! u feel the fear and do it anyway...assuming ur sweetie is ready too abi? lol dont worry too much.
ReplyDeleteI know that feeling but you have to stick with the bible ways, 2 shall become one, can't be alone forever...hang in there, it shall be well.
ReplyDeleteok lady! wetin happen? did you fall in love or better yet "get found" by this man? We dey wait part 2!
ReplyDeleteFunny, because I just wrote a marriage-talk entry on my blog. Check it!
This sounds so sad ..abeg brighten it up :)
ReplyDeletelol
U know what, I'm somewhat the same, only difference is I never thought of marriage, I still don't really until my boyfriend starts talking about it, dropping hints here & there and talking about "our" kids and all. Nothing wrong with single life, its very eye opening....
ReplyDeleteSomeone said, "there is no hurry in the race of life, there are only appointed times"
ReplyDeleteGod is cooking something, wait for it with a patient spoon :)
- LDP
looking forward to part 2. Hoping all is well
ReplyDeleteProper comment after Part 2
ReplyDeleteI'll go sit over with Luscious Ron and wait for part 2 :)
ReplyDeleteMarriage on my mind, where is part 2?
ReplyDeleteYou need to put off the abstract concept of love, relationships and marriage. Make it real. Part 2 pls ????
ReplyDelete