Monday, April 21, 2008

What I don’t miss about America

Ofcourse there's a flip side to every coin. So here goes:

· Fuel prices. Y’all can keep your $3 per gallon gas prices.

· Winter. Breathing out smoky breath is cool, but icy winds and slippery snow don’t go down well with me. Add the fact that I’m always cold because I can’t stand sweaters! Yuck. I itch just thinking about them. Grad school must be in the Caribbean, California or Texas.

· Automatic carwashes or those high powered hoses. Nothing gets your car cleaner than human hands, a rag and a bucket of water. And my hands prefer to pay other hands to do that which reminds me…

· Expensive labor. There’s no N50 vulcanizer or N1, 000 electrician in America, the land of do-it-yourself. You will pay through your nose for the simplest repair. It just propagates waste because it’s often wiser to buy a new item than fix an old one at such high a cost.

· T-Mobile surprise bills—If you’re on a family plan with chatty girls, you never know what your bill looks like until it’s due in two weeks! My all time highest? $400 (but come to think of it, I have friends who spend much more than this on monthly recharge cards in Nigeria.

· Calling customer service. Someone needs to tell those companies that we don’t like talking to automated voices and pressing O, then 1, then 5, then 7. JUST GIVE ME THE HUMAN!

· Being told: “Oh wow, you speak really good English!” I learned to just shut my mouth and smile in response to that one.

· HAIR SALONS! I could not get over paying $50 for retouching or $120 for braids or weavon. Hair that you will throway in 2-4 weeks! Me? I used to stretch styles for months so tey my sibs, friends and even my pastor used to beg me to loosen my hair.

·The IRS and the INS. Taxes and immigration...mmh, let me not say anything, they might be watching….


  1. Yea, I actually paid $3.57 per gallon this morning.
    I was told that petrol prices keeps rising in Naija also.

    $400 bill - what do women talk about for hours on the phone shall remain a mystery to me....LOL.


  2. $3.50 per gallon? Damn you guys are having it good. I paid £1.11 for a litre at the weekend. Seeing as its roughly 5 litres to the gallon and $2 to a £1 your fuel costs like a quarter of what it costs us here!

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  4. @bayo, the $400 bill was actually my mum talking to my dad when she came on hols. We weren't aware that the calling card didn't connect and instead the calls were direct at almost $2 per minute! Ofcourse I promptly called Tmobil to block off international access on all my lines!

  5. morountodun, I love that name ;) Did not know that gas is that expensive in the UK?! Kai, isn't it easier to go by rail ?

  6. I do not drive my SUV no more..18mil/gallon in a state like texas..are u kiddin me...

    120$ for hair? is that how much it cost? that is just ridiculous..go bald like me..get a 9 dollar clipper from bestbuy or radioshack...

  7. omg i think i actually love you. u're way too funny, i love your blog off! jheez i'm doing this when i finally make my silly mind up about coming to serve or not.